Posted on by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: My Nostalgia Is the Best Nostalgia

Dear Michael Eisner,
Please restore Disneyland to its mid-1980s glory, including, but not limited to, rehanging the ripped construction paper with pinholes in it in Space Mountain and removing all PC elements from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Thanks,

-M.

PS

You can go ahead and leave Guardians of the Galaxy and Incredicoaster though. They’re pretty neat.

Posted on by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: Avengers: Endgame—More That Guy, Less THAT Guy

Dear Michael Eisner,
I feel left out. In the last ten years, I have only seen maybe four Marvel movies. I went to see Avengers: Endgame this weekend and was, for a good part of the movie, lost. It is hard for self-sacrificing heroism to hit you in the feels if you have no idea who said hero is. I could get a list of which movies to watch in which order and set about that gargantuan task with delight and in good humor, but I have found it is far easier just to ask you to fix things for me instead, so:

In the future: More Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and Guardians of the Galaxy. Those are the ones I’ve seen.

Thanks,
-M.

PS
Especially Dr. Strange. He’s kind of my boyfriend.