Disneyland – Dear Michael Eisner

Posted on May 14, 2019May 8, 2019 by M. Ashley

RE: My Last Letter; RE: Nostalgia

Dear Michael Eisner,
If you could also restore Disneyland crowd levels to mid-1980s glory, I’d appreciate it.

Thanks,
-M.

Posted on May 9, 2019May 8, 2019 by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: My Nostalgia Is the Best Nostalgia

Dear Michael Eisner,
Please restore Disneyland to its mid-1980s glory, including, but not limited to, rehanging the ripped construction paper with pinholes in it in Space Mountain and removing all PC elements from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Thanks,

-M.

You can go ahead and leave Guardians of the Galaxy and Incredicoaster though. They’re pretty neat.

Posted on May 3, 2019May 3, 2019 by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: Non-Life-Threatening Accident

Dear Michael Eisner,
I feel like coffee stains on my brand new dress should not be a part of my “Happiest Place on Earth” experience. Please send stain remover and one eager cast member. PDQ.

Thanks,
-M.

Posted on April 29, 2019April 26, 2019 by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: Eisner Giveth What the State of California Taketh Away

Dear Michael Eisner,
Thanks for fixing it so my state income tax refund came in the very day I decided to play hooky from work and go to Disneyland instead. While I realize this is, in part, self-serving, I appreciate it just the same.

You really are the one man who can get things done.

Thanks,
-M.

Posted on April 22, 2019April 23, 2019 by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: Better Living Through Chemisty

Deat Michael Eisner,
Why are there no flies at Disneyland? Is it malathion? I feel like it’s malathion. Please tell me whether or not it’s malathion.

Thanks,
-M.

PS
Happy Earth Day!

Posted on April 21, 2019April 23, 2019 by M. Ashley

SUBJECT: Unexcited Easter

Dear Michael Eisner,
I am legally blind. Hunting for Easter eggs at the parks is hard for me. The other day, however, while hunting for eggs at California Adventure with a friend, I actually found one on my own! And in my favorite store, no less!

I told a nearby cast member of my triumph and I feel like he was not as enthusiastic about it as he could have been. He works at Off the Page and has red hair. Please have him fired.

Thanks,
-M.

PS
Happy Easter!